Deanna Troi was restless, unsettled. Pacing her quarters, she desperately wished to find her center and calm her nerves. Five hours had passed since her meeting with the Captain and although ship's night had already begun, she was still unable to capture that rest that had so successfully eluded her all evening.

"Troi to Crusher."

There was barely a pause before she received her answer. <<Crusher here. What is it Deanna?>>

"I can't seem to get any sleep. I was thinking about heading to Ten Forward for some chocolate and I could use some company."

<<Sure Deanna, I'll swing by your quarters in about ten minutes. Crusher out.>>

Although it was ship's night, it was still early enough for a slight crowd to be gathered in Ten Forward. Crewmembers were relaxing, unwinding from the day shift by having a drink with their friends. Small clusters of people were scattered throughout the lounge, their conversations muted. The air seemed light and worry-free.

Beverly and Deanna found an empty table and ordered a round of chocolate sundaes from a passing waiter.

Sensing that Deanna just needed the company, Beverly kept up an easy chatter talking about her work in sickbay and the latest play she was putting together. For her part, Deanna simply nodded occasionally to let Beverly know that she was still paying attention to the extremely lop-sided conversation. Her chocolate ritual was performed automatically, without thought.

When Beverly eventually ran out of topics of conversation, the two sat in silence. Deanna stared out at the stars streaming past at warp speed as she once again tried to relax and center herself. Her meditation efforts were interrupted when the baby shifted slightly and then kicked her sharply in the side. Startled by the sudden movement, Troi let out a yelp and her hand flew to her stomach.

"Are you all right?" Dr. Beverly was already reaching for the tricorder in her pocket.

Deanna raised a hand to stop her. "I'm fine. That was the first time she's kicked me with any force and it just surprised me a bit."

"That's understandable. I nearly jumped out of my skin the first time Wesley kicked me that hard. I was so excited that I immediately sent out a communiqué to Jack to tell him about it. He had been so disappointed that he hadn't been there, but I assured him that there were many more milestones to come and they would be a lot more exciting." Beverly placed her hand over Deanna's. "Just like there will be many memories and firsts that you will be able to share with Will. He is back and he is alive and I plan on keeping him that way. I promise you that as soon as he is in my sickbay I will do everything in my power to figure out what has happened to him." A small smile spread across her face. "He has got so much to live for Dea, and I know he will fight this."

A tear forged a trail down her cheek and in a shaky voice she replied. "Once again my world has been completely turned on its end. I no longer know which way is up. I had just begun to tread water again after his disappearance. Just when I had finally figured out which way was up everything is flipped again. Finally I had accepted that he was gone, I was beginning to feel like I could handle life again, alone. Suddenly he's returned and I am drowning once more." The silent tears were falling freely down her face and she made no move to wipe them away. "I don't know how much more I can take, how much longer I can be strong."

Beverly rose from her chair and pulled her best friend into a hug. "You don't have to be, you never had to be." She pulled back and met Deanna's eyes. "We have a big day tomorrow. Do you think you can get some rest now? I can give you something light to help you sleep that won't affect the baby."

"I think I will actually take you up on that offer."

"Good. We'll make a stop at sickbay on the way to your quarters."

Counselor Troi awoke the next morning more relaxed. The morning hours were spent deep in a meditation ritual trying to center herself and free her mind. At first it seemed as though the minute she began reaching the meditative state, the baby would shift and break her concentration. She had never been so easily distracted, but she tried not to let her frustration build and compound her problems. Instead, she shifted her focal point for her meditations from the melodic Betazoid chant to the almost rhythmic movements of the life within her.

When Beverly arrived at her quarters at 1045 hours Deanna was in a considerably calmer state of mind than she had been the previous night. After a quick scan from the doctor's medical tricorder, the two headed to the observation lounge for the morning's briefing.

The last to arrive, Troi and Crusher took their respective chairs around the table. When everyone was settled the Captain indicated to Data, who had taken over the duties of the First Officer since Riker's disappearance, to begin the meeting.

"Currently very little is known about the events surrounding the disappearance and subsequent reappearance of Commander Riker. Commander LaForge and I have been analyzing the data gathered from the mysterious ship that was cloaked above Hervegla VI. From the energy readings that were recorded before the ship disappeared we have determined that it utilizes a propulsion system not unlike our warp drive." Data moved to the screen behind him and called up some images to further illustrate their findings. "The creation of the worm hole though leads us to the conclusion that this species is in some ways technologically superior to the Federation. They also seem to have the ability to manipulate the thoughts of humanoids as witnessed on Hervegla IV. Their motivations behind causing the war on that planet as well as their motivations for kidnapping Commander Riker are still unclear. We have speculated however, based on Commander Riker's current medical condition, that they are interested in testing and observing humanoid behavior and responses." Taking his seat again he nodded to Dr. Crusher to begin her report.

"When Riker appeared on Starbase 42 he was severely dehydrated and malnourished. There was extensive bruising on his arms, legs and torso. Two ribs were broken and his left lung was punctured. Brain scans revealed minor anomalies mostly in the form of chemical imbalances possibly as a result of mind probing and thought manipulation." Taking a deep breath she looked to Troi whose face was surprisingly calm and impassive, before continuing. "The medical team was able to get him stabilized and his vital signs are strong, though he still remains unconscious. After I examine him myself I will determine a course of action. I don't think I would want to attempt to revive him prematurely because of the unusual brain activity."

"Thank you Doctor." Picard leaned forward slightly in his chair. "Data, what is our current ETA?"

"Approximately forty three minutes, sir."

"Very well. Dr. Crusher, Counselor Troi, you will be accompanying me to the Starbase. We will meet in transporter room three when we arrive at our destination. In the mean time, I will be in my ready room. Data, you have the bridge. Dismissed."

The Enterprise away team was greeted in the Starbase transporter room by two individuals. A tall, regal human female with light brown eyes and chestnut hair stepped forward and addressed the group.

"Greetings Captain Picard. I am Captain Ilianna Raatko and this is my Chief Medical Officer Dr. t'Srawpt." She indicated the short, squirrelly humanoid male from a species called the Bretissians that stood next to her. His short purple hair, typical of his race, stuck out from his head at every imaginable angle. Intense green eyes regarded the away team as he inclined his head in greeting.

The trio stepped down from the transporter pad as Picard acknowledged their hosts. "Captain, Doctor, this is my CMO Dr. Beverly Crusher and ship's counselor Deanna Troi."

Polite handshakes were exchanged, but the usual pleasantries were kept short. "Well, I am sure you are all anxious to see the patient. Dr. t'Srawpt, please lead the way."

During the walk to sickbay the two doctors kept up a continuous dialogue about the latest developments in Commander Riker's condition while the captains discussed the circumstances revolving around his mysterious reappearance. Counselor Troi was the only one who remained silent, focusing her thoughts inward, desperately holding on to that thin string of calm and balance.

When they arrived at sickbay it was quite and calm, the minimal activity was centered around a biobed in the far corner. The technician stepped aside and Deanna's breath caught in her throat. Even though he was unconscious, her pull to him was overwhelming. Walking ahead of the group she made her way to his side. Afraid to touch him, afraid she would break the illusion, wake up from her dream, her trembling hand hovered over his forehead. Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath and opened up her mind, expanding her senses. There he was, her sense of him was faint, but undeniable. Finally convinced that this wasn't a dream, Deanna let her trembling hand brush tentatively over his forehead smoothing away a stray lock of hair. When he stirred slightly at her touch she let out a breath that she hadn't even realized she was holding.

"Unbelievable." Dr. t'Srawpt whispered as he swept past the group to check the readings on the biobed. "He has not moved on his own since he arrived here."

Captain Raatko observed the two officers for a beat longer before turning back to Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher. "She's a Betazoid." It was more a statement than a question. "But that still should not have been possible, Commander Riker is human." Her gaze returned to the biobed in the corner and realization hit her at warp speed. "He must be the father of her baby then." Her voice was barely above a whisper, but she still saw the nod of confirmation from Dr. Crusher out of the corner of her eye.

Six days had passed since Commander Riker had been beamed up from the Starbase and settled into a private room in Enterprise's sickbay and there was still no change in his condition.

Deanna kept up a vigil by his side alternately trying to reach him through their link and talking to him about the mundane day-to-day ship happenings that occurred while he was gone. She only left when Beverly forced her to get some rest in her own cabin or when the good doctor dragged her to Ten Forward for something to eat and to take a break.

Sitting in her usual spot next to his biobed, Deanna was in deep meditation trying to contact her Imzadi when the baby gave her another sharp kick in her side, breaking her concentration. She rubbed her hand over the location of the kick and was rewarded with another jab. Reaching for Riker's hand, she placed it on her abdomen where her hand had just been. As the baby continued to stir an old Earth melody that her father used to sing to her enter her mind and she began to sing softly.

"Hush little baby, don't say a word, Papa's going to buy you a mocking bird. And if that mocking bird don't sing, Papa's going to buy you a diamond ring. And if that diamond ring turns to brass, Papa's going to buy you a looking glass." Wonderful memories form her childhood came rushing back to her. Trying to remember the next line of the lullaby she practically jumped out of her skin when she felt the almost imperceptible movement of Will's hand on her stomach. Her sense of him gradually shifted and intensified as he struggled back into consciousness. Finally his eyes fluttered open and she immediately felt a wave of frustration and confusion. Sending her comfort and strength through their bond, she finally felt him relax. Her smile lit up her face as he slowly turned his head towards her. As if on cue, the baby kicked her again causing Will to look down at his hand and then slowly back up into Deanna's eyes. His jaw dropped and Deanna couldn't help the soft laughter she sent echoing in his head.

**Welcome home Imzadi,** she thought cast to him. **A lot has happened while you were gone. We have to talk.**

Three days had passed since Will Riker woke up and Deanna still had not had a chance to sit down with him and discuss the baby and their future together. The doctors kept him busy with physical therapy and there always seemed to be at least one member of the medical staff in the room making it impossible for the two of them to have any sort of personal conversation.

Deanna had resumed her normal duties though her appointment schedule was kept light so that she may spend as much time with Will as was possible. When they were together they talked mostly of the mundane events of each other's day, carefully avoiding any subject involving the events that had transpired while he was gone. Deanna could sense that some vague and frightening memories of his imprisonment had slowly begun surfacing, but she also sensed that he was still unable to articulate these disjointed images. She just hoped that he would talk about it when he was ready. What worried her most though was the mental block he had placed up around him, intentionally keeping himself distant from her. She tried to look past it, but the distance was getting to great to ignore. They had to talk soon before the distance became insurmountable.

Riker made wonderful progress and was released to his quarters on the fourth day. Deanna came off of her bridge shift to find Will packing up his belongings.

"Finally drove the sickbay staff crazy enough to get yourself kicked out." Deanna stood in the doorway of his private room, a playful smile tugging at the corners of her mouth.

Will looked up from his task, startled by her presence. "I still am not cleared for duty, but at least I can sleep in my own bed and be without people constantly hovering over me."

Not knowing how to interpret his last statement, her sense of him still vague because of the blocks he kept firmly in place, she simply nodded. Deanna was getting frustrated, but she did not let her frustration show. He had a lot to deal with and her vague sense of him was enough to let her know that he was on the edge and he really did not need to be pushed off the cliff right now.

"Would you like me to walk with you to your quarters? I could make you some dinner." Off his look, she amended her last statement. "OK, I could replicate you some dinner."

His shrug was noncommittal. "Sure, why not." He snapped his case closed and slung it over his shoulder. "After you." The grand gesture he made towards the door was over the top and a bit forced.

Exiting out of the turbo lift, the pair fell into step, Deanna's short legs moving twice as quickly just to keep up. A few feet from Riker's quarters Deanna stopped suddenly stifling a cry of pain. Hunched over, one hand instinctively shot to her abdomen the other one steadied herself against the bulkhead. Riker was instantly back by her side.

"Are you all right?"

Taking a few breaths to steady herself before straightening up again, she nodded. "Yes, I'm fine. Either she just kicked me really hard or that was my first Braxton-Hicks contraction." Her hand smoothed over her stomach. "At my last appointment Beverly warned me that I might start experiencing some of those."

Riker suddenly felt as though he was caught in a haze somewhere between dream and reality. "She?" Deanna looked up at him in confusion. "You said that she kicked you. It's a girl?"

Troi immediately felt the strange shift in Riker's emotions and there was no denying the raising sense of panic within him. The only response she could manage was a slight nod.

Will quickly became overwhelmed. He closed his eyes to try and calm himself, but all he saw was the little girl from his dream. A dream that he had forgotten about, pushed it to the back of his mind. Shaking his head sharply to rid himself of the image, he finally opened his eyes again only to be met with a tear-filled pair of the most beautiful obsidian eyes he had ever known. In that instant Riker knew that he had let his guard slip and that Deanna had felt his panic.

He opened his mouth to apologize, but instead he said, "I'm really exhausted, I think I am going to call it a night." And with that he keyed in his access code and let to door slide shut behind him, leaving a bewildered Troi alone in the crowded hallway.

"I understand where he is coming from Bev, but I can't help the incredible ache that I feel here." She pressed her hand against her heart.

After a fitful night alone in her quarters Deanna was in sickbay for her scheduled checkup. When she had arrived Beverly immediately become concerned for her friend. Although her hair and uniform were their usual immaculate selves, the weariness and exhaustion were evident in her face and posture. Without saying a word Dr, Crusher led her over to a biobed and pulled out her tricorder. Frowning at the results of her initial scan, that was when she began to pry information out of Troi. With only a minimal amount of initial resistance Deanna quietly recounted the incident in the corridor.

"After he has had some time to adjust to the situation, I am sure he will come around." Beverly placed a comforting hand on her friend's shoulder. "And when he does, you two will talk things out and the air will be cleared."

"I just can't share your optimism, Bev. You didn't feel the overwhelming sense of panic that overcame him when I began talking about the baby." Slowly shaking her head dejectedly, she let out a deep sigh. "It wasn't the sort of apprehension one feels when thrust into a new and strange situation; it was the panic one feels when facing certain death." A shudder ran through her body.

"Dea, we both know that the physical scars are easy to heal, but the mental ones could be with him for a long time. No one even knows the extent of the damage to his psyche, not even Riker himself. He doesn't remember most of what happened to him." Pulling out her tricorder, she once again ran it over her patient. "Now, how about we take a look at this baby?"

Troi laid back on the biobed as Dr. Crusher positioned the imaging scanner over her abdomen. A soft blue light emanated from the device and soon a three dimensional image of the baby appeared on the monitor above Deanna's head.

"The baby looks very healthy. She's a little smaller than the average human at this stage, but that could be because Betazoid babies are typically smaller." She helped Deanna back up into a sitting position so that she could see the image herself.

Troi's face lit up with a smile as she ran her fingers over the image of her child. "It just still doesn't seem real sometimes Bev."

"I know exactly what you mean." Beverly's own smile was soon replaced by the stern look of a doctor. "You need to start taking care of yourself. Your cervix has thinned considerably since your last exam. I insist that you to take the day off and go get some rest."

"But Bev -"

Raising a hand to silence her, "No 'buts' about it Dea. Do I have to make it an official order?"

Deanna shook her head in resignation. "No, I'll cooperate."

"Good." A small smile tugged at the corners of her mouth. "I will give you something to help you sleep."

Deanna remained sitting on the edge of the biobed as Dr. Crusher went to retrieve a hypospray. Beverly returned just as the door to sickbay opened and Will Riker walked in. Her attention immediately drawn to the room's new occupant, Troi barely heard what Beverly was telling her.

"This should take effect in about twenty minutes. I want to you come back tomorrow for another exam and if things have not gotten worse I will let you return to duty." Realizing her patient's attention was no longer focused on her, Beverly followed Deanna's gaze to find Will staring at the image on the screen above the biobed. She cleared her throat causing the two to jump. "Well, I will let the physical therapist know that you are here Will." With a nod she left quickly.

Will dropped his gaze and shifted his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other. "Is everything all right?"

"Everything is fine. Beverly is just being overly cautious." She hopped off the biobed and smoothed out her uniform tunic.

His eyes once again locked with hers as an uncharacteristically uncomfortable silence followed. Finally it was Will that ended their silent standoff; he tore his eyes from hers and swallowed audibly. "Well, I have an appointment." And with that he turned and headed for the physical therapy room.

Troi barely made it into her quarters before she began to feel the effect of Dr. Crusher's hypo. Crawling into bed with her uniform still on, she quickly fell into an easy, dreamless sleep.

Crimson red. Blood was everywhere. Riker chocked back a sob as he cradled her dying body in his arms. He had been powerless against their attackers, there had just been too many of them. She had held her own fighting next to him, but she didn't see the knife until it was too late. A soundless scream shook her as the cold metal tore deeply through her flesh. Rushing to her side, Riker was only half aware that their attackers had disappeared. Her breath was shallow, uneven and her pulse faint. He gathered her close, pressing his lips to her forehead, repeating his words like a mantra.

"Hold on Imzadi, please. Don't leave me."

For a moment the life seemed to return to her eyes as she turned her head towards him. **Imzadi** was heard softly in his head before the light left her dark eyes and her body went limp in his arms.

An anguished scream tore from his throat as Riker sat bolt upright in bed. A dream, it was only a dream. Riker shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. There had been something eerily familiar about that scene that had just played out in his subconscious mind.

In her cabin next door, Deanna woke up suddenly from her nap confused and disoriented. When her head cleared she reached out with her senses trying to determine what had woken her. Singling out Riker immediately she noticed that he had let his blocks down slightly. Unable to resist the opening, Deanna pushed past what was left of the wall between them and entered his thoughts. She knew what she was doing was wrong, but she was desperate to know what was causing his incredible distance. The images surrounding her were still disjointed and fuzzy and she was unable to make any sense out of them.

Riker got out of bed and stumbled over to the sink in his bathroom. Splashing some cold water onto his face he stared unseeing at his reflection in the mirror. Suddenly, as if they were being pushed from the corners of his mind, the images and memories from his time of imprisonment came slamming to his conscious mind. Anguish, darkness, death, despair, everything became clear and he could remember all of the details of his torture. Retching from the sudden rush of memories, he emptied the contents of his stomach before falling to the floor in a heap. After a few deep breaths he was able to calm himself and that was when he noticed that familiar sensation within his mind. Driven by anger and hurt he burst from his quarters and within seconds was next door face to face with a pale and trembling Deanna Troi.

"WHY?!" The venom in his voice startled even himself. His eyes slid shut as he tried to calm himself, his fists repeatedly clenching and unclenching. "Why?" He repeated, this time barely above a whisper, the naked anguish apparent in his voice.

Deanna swallowed audibly. "I… I'm so sorry Will," she stammered. Taking a step forward she reached out to him. "Imzadi."

"Don't." Their eyes locked and his anger slammed against her senses. "Just don't." He began pacing the small space. "What you did was…"

"Wrong, I know."

"Inexcusable." He stopped, his eyes boring directly into her soul. "Do you really need to know what happened to me? Is that why you invaded my thoughts tonight, pushed past my block?" His voice was clam and even. "Fine."

The hazy images she had sensed before suddenly slammed into her mind once again with such agonizing clarity that she couldn't help but stagger backwards. Along with those images came all of the pain and fear. She fell to her knees, covering her ears and squeezing her eyes shut, trying desperately to rid herself of the horrible images. She looked up at Will, tears streaming down her face, anger flashing in her dark eyes. "That was completely unnecessary."

"Oh, was it? I thought that it was exactly what you had been searching for when you violated my thoughts." Ice dripped from his words stinging her to the core.

"I was worried, concerned for your mental well being." Her anger continued to boil as she rose to her feet. "I am sick and tired of you shutting yourself off from me. Did you think that I couldn't handle it? Or were you just too busy wallowing in your own pool of self-pity. I hate to break it to you, Imzadi," she practically spit the word out, "you aren't the only one that has been affected by this. I know that whatever happened to you must have been horrible and you are only now beginning to remember all of the horrors. I am not trying to belittle your pain. I am just trying to make you see that you are not alone in your suffering. You need to talk about it. Now." She moved to the couch, made herself comfortable and waited for his response.

Stunned into silence by her outburst, he sat down next to her and then, changing his mind, he sprang up and began to pace again.

"Six months of my life were taken from me. Stolen, ripped away. I was happy, truly happy. Our renewed relationship was blossoming; I was serving on a wonderful ship surrounded by people that I consider my family. All of that was taken from me." He ran his hands through his hair. "When I was returned I had no recollection of what had happened. I believe your little intrusion has forced much of it back to the surface."

Finally sitting down in the chair, he took a deep breath before continuing quietly. "The experiments they performed went beyond any pain that I had thought possible. First they began by inflicting physical harm and gauging my reactions. When they tired of that game they began messing with my mind. They -" He choked back a sob. "They made me watch you die over and over again. Everyone that I care for, I had to watch them die. Sometimes the deaths were quick and merciful, but mostly they were drawn out and excruciating. It was always the same agonizing conclusion no matter what I did." Deanna reached out a comforting hand, but the minute she made contact he sprung up from the chair and continued his pacing. "I gladly welcomed the times where they would lock me in my dark cell. There were no windows and no lights. It was just an empty room no bigger than a closet.

"They never fed me, only injected me with enough fluid and nutrients to keep me alive. It became so bad that I didn't know what was real anymore. The images they were feeding into my brain began to mix with memories. Hell, I don't even know if this is real. This could just be another one of their experiments to see how I would react to this new situation."

Deanna rose from the couch and cautiously approached him. "Will, look at me." Grabbing his arm to stop his pacing, she forced him to face her. "I am real, please believe me." He refused to meet her gaze. "Damn it Imzadi, open your mind. If you let down your block completely you will see that I am real." Theirs eyes locked and Deanna felt the wall slowly crumble away. She reached across their open link and surrounded him with her soul.

Several moments passed before a tentative hand reached up and caressed her cheek. The familiar electricity passed between them and Riker was emboldened by the slight contact. Bringing his other hand up he gently brushed the curls from her shoulder and ran his fingers over her neck and collarbone. As if being pushed together by an unknown force their lips met. The first contact was minimal, just a slight brushing of lips. Breaths mingling, they remained mere millimeters from each other. Deanna slowly ran her tongue along Will's lower lip causing a low moan to emanate deep within his throat. In one swift movement he threaded his fingers through her hair and captured her lips in a soul-searing kiss. Raking her nails along his neck, she let out a moan as his lips and teeth continued a path down her jaw to the sensitive flesh of her neck. Running a hand down to the small of her back, he pulled her body flush against his. He froze. Deanna's rounded abdomen shifted slightly against him bringing him back to the reality of his current situation.

He staggered away from her embrace trying to ignore the hurt and confusion he could clearly see in her eyes. "I… I just can't. Not right now." That was the only explanation he offered her before making a hasty exit.

Unable to quell the anger and frustration, Deanna picked up the nearest object and hurled it at the door. With a satisfying crash, the vase smashed into hundreds of pieces and the delicate white flowers fell silently to the floor.

Fists clenched tightly at her sides, Deanna slowly counted down from one hundred. When she reached zero her anger had not dissipated, in fact, it had increased. Slamming her hand against the door release she walked across the shattered glass and made the short trip to the cabin next door. Not even bothering to ring the chime, she simply keyed in the access code and stepped through the door. Startled by her sudden intrusion, Riker jumped up from his position on the couch.

"How dare you?!" Her body shook with barely contained rage. "How dare you run away from me every time you are faced with the fact that I am carrying your child. This child is not going to disappear just because to refuse to accept its existence. In about ten weeks, whether you like it or not, you are going to be a father."

"Deanna, I -"

"No, let me finish." Her dark eyes contained an anger the likes of which Riker had never seen before. "When you disappeared, when all sense of you was torn from me I had no idea how in the universe I was going to live each day without you." Tears began to form, but she fought them back. "When Beverly told me that I was pregnant, the same day I had lost you, I didn't want to accept it either, but I knew that I couldn't just ignore it, couldn't make it go away." She took a shaky breath, finally loosing her battle with the tears. "It didn't take long for me to realize that I didn't want it to go away. This baby was the last connection that I still had with you and I discovered the one thing that would get me through the days." Forcing herself to meet his eyes once again she continued, "I am not going to force you to accept this child and help to raise it. All I am asking right now is for you to acknowledge that she does exist and to promise me that you will stop walking out on me like that."

Riker took a deep breath and opened his mouth to respond, but no words wanted to form on his lips. Closing his mouth once again, he sighed heavily and dropped back down on to the couch, his head cradled in his hands.

"Fine. When you want to talk, you know how to find me." With that, Deanna turned on her heel and stormed out of his cabin.

Several moments passed after the door shut behind Deanna before Riker regained his power of speech. "Deanna wait!" But he made no move to go after her. "Damn it!" Another vase fell victim to their fight as it smashed against the bulkhead with a wholly unsatisfying crash. Still frustrated by his anger, but lacking the energy to hurl any more objects, Riker slumped dejectedly on the couch.

Will Riker was not ready to be a father. Aside from the feelings of inadequacy brought on by his horrible childhood and the fear of becoming his father effectively ruining the poor child's life, his entire existence had been turned completely upside down by the recent events. He no longer felt comfortable in his own skin. The ordeal had left him with a complete feeling of unease. The line between reality and imagination had been erased by his captors and he wasn't sure where he should draw that line again. He was scared and he was angry, angry with himself for letting a small child, not even born yet, scare the absolute shit out of him. On a purely intellectual level Riker knew he was pushing Deanna away as a result of his own feelings of inadequacy and fear, but he could not simply push aside the incredible panic that ran through him whenever he was faced with his future, as uncertain as it was. He still loved her. He knew that much to be true, and perhaps it would always be true.

"Damn it!" Those seemed to be the only words his mouth was capable of forming at the moment. He made a decision and activated his COMM badge. "Riker to Troi." Waiting patiently for her reply, when none came he repeated, a bit louder and with a hint of irritation. "Riker to Troi, please respond." Another pause followed.

<<What is it Will?>> He could still hear the tears in her voice.

He cleared his throat. "You have had over six months to process the… situation. I have barely had a week. I need you to understand that I need time and I am terribly sorry for any hurt that I have caused you. My life needs to be set upright again before I can look ahead. Riker out." He closed the COMM channel abruptly, not giving her a chance to respond.

**I will give you the time you need, Imzadi.** Her voice echoed in his mind accompanied by a wash of calming love and forgiveness with still a measure of hurt and sadness. It seemed as though a truce was achieved, for the moment.

The weeks that followed passed by quickly. The Enterprise returned to its mapping mission and Commander Riker's life began to return to some state of normalcy. In order to appease the good doctor so that he could return to duty as quickly as possible, Riker even began seeing one of the psychologists on Deanna's staff. After eight weeks of physical and psychological therapy he was given a clean bill of health and allowed to return to active duty with the promise that he wouldn't over do it.

Deanna was on strict orders from Dr. Crusher to take things easy and her bridge shifts and appointments were reduced slightly. The extra free time only served to make her even more restless. There were only so many times her quarters could be cleaned from top to bottom.

The couple's uneasy truce remain in tact and Deanna was silently relieved that Will was finally talking to someone about the events of his abduction, but the hurt remained because that someone was not her.

The two slowly fell back into an easy friendship. At first they were courteous and polite when their paths crossed, but neither were actively seeking out the company of the other. As Riker began to feel more and more like his old self they found themselves thrust together in social situations, mostly gatherings in Ten Forward and the weekly poker game, and an easy banter was formed once again. Deanna began noticing a subtle shift in his state of mind every day that passed. Though it seemed to the average outsider that their relationship was normal, there was still an unexplainable underlying tension that prevented them from simply picking up where they left off. It was this tension, combined with the love that she knew still remained between them that was slowly driving Troi mad.

It was poker night and this week the game was to be held in Commander Riker's quarters. Since she had already cleaned her quarters earlier that day, Deanna decided to head over to the game early and help Will set things up. If she played her cards right she might be able to get him to talk.

Ringing the chime on his door she didn't have to wait long for his reply and the door slid open to allow her access. When she stepped into his quarters Riker was nowhere to be seen. "Will," she called out and he suddenly emerged from the bedroom pulling a gray shirt over his head, obviously just coming from the shower. "I, uh -" Deanna swallowed hard. "I thought you could use some help setting up."

He ran his hands through his wet hair causing it to stand on end and flashed her a disarmingly brilliant smile. "Sure, that would be great. You know where the poker supplies are."

Deanna pulled open the storage unit as Will disappeared back into the bedroom. As she was setting out the poker chips and cards he emerged from the bedroom once again with his hair neatly combed and his uniform jacket in his hand. Tossing the garment over the back of the chair, Riker headed over to the replicator.

"One hot chocolate and one coffee." The beverages shimmered into solidity and Will turned to offer a mug to Deanna only to find her hunched over, steadying herself with one hand on the table and one hand on her abdomen. Riker was by her side in an instant. "Dea -"

After a couple deep breathes she straightened up again. "I'm fine, just a small contraction. I have been having them sporadically all day." She chuckled slightly at the look of panic that graced his features. "Don't worry, it's perfectly normal. I'm not in labor yet; the contractions would be a lot more intense and more frequent. Beverly warned me about this. She says that it's just my body's way of preparing for the event. Oh chocolate!" She greedily took the cup from his grasp and moved to sit on the couch.

Riker watched her intently as she sipped her hot chocolate until he was convinced that she indeed was not going to drop the kid right there in the middle of his quarters. Deanna unflinchingly returned his gaze, her feet propped up on the table in front of her and her hot chocolate resting on her rounded abdomen. Riker became mesmerized by the site before him.

"Deanna, I -" The door chime interrupted, breaking the spell. "Come." Riker pulled on his uniform jacket as the door slid open allowing Dr. Crusher and Captain Picard to enter the room.

"Hi Dea." Beverly greeted her friend warmly. "You look comfortable. Any more contractions since this morning?" She pulled out her ever-present tricorder.

"Another small one hit a couple minutes ago." She lowered her voice so only Beverly would hear. "It scared the hell out of Will." Beverly caught the wicked glint in her eye and the two dissolved into a fit of giggles.

The two men exchanged a look. "Can I get either of you anything to drink?" Riker easily fell into the role of the host. As he retrieved the beverages from the replicator Geordi and Data arrived and everyone took their seats at the table, everyone that is except for Deanna.
"Uh guys, can I get a little help over here, I think I'm stuck." The group burst into laughter as Riker came to her aid. "You guys try carrying a squirming three kilo kid in your abdomen and see how graceful you are." Deanna took her seat at the table next to Riker and threw her anti into the pool as the first hand of the evening was dealt out by Picard.

Deanna delightfully watched her pile of chips slowly increase as the evening wore on. It had been a while since she had had a decent night at the poker table. To further her delight, Riker was right in the middle of a pretty bad loosing streak.

"I will see your twenty and I will raise you another fifty." Deanna threw her chips into the pool and flashed an enigmatic smile to the player on her left. "Your bet Will."

His jaw twitched slightly, an almost imperceptible movement if you didn't know him as well as Deanna did. He didn't have the straight.

"I call and raise another fifty."

Everyone at the table folded and the bet quickly returned to Deanna's control. "Call." She deftly tossed her chips to the exact center of pool. "Let's see what you have."

Riker flipped his hold card. "Ten high." He eyed Deanna suspiciously. "How did you know? You didn't use your empathic sense did you?" There was a slight teasing tone in her voice.

"I'm just a better poker player than you think." She smiled sweetly as she stood to collect her winnings. As she reached across the table a sudden, intense contraction hit and she cried out in pain. Riker was immediately on his feet helping her back down to her chair. "I'm fine, thanks. That one was just a little bit stronger than the others and it took me by surprise."

Data tilted his head to the side. "Are you in labor Counselor?"

"I've been having small contractions all day, but none of them have been anything significant until just now."

Dr. Crusher already had her tricorder out. "The baby has dropped so she should be here any day, but there is no indication yet that it will be now." She patted her friend on the knee. "Just let me know if another hard contraction hits."

Everyone returned to their seats and Picard began dealing the cards once again. "The game is five card stud, deuces wild."

"I think I am going to sit this one out. If you will excuse me for a moment." Deanna rose from the table and disappeared through the bedroom and into the bathroom to freshen up.

Riker's luck began to turn and he won the next two hands. He was holding a flush, trying to determine whether or not Beverly had the cards she seemed to be betting with when Deanna's voice called out from the bedroom. "Bev, you might want to come here."

Dr. Crusher exchanged a puzzled look with the Captain before excusing herself from that table. Peaking her head into the other room she found her friend sitting calmly on the edge of the bed. "What is it Dea?"

"Since I left the table ten minutes ago two contractions have hit and my water broke."

"Are you sure?" Deanna shot her a wry look. "Of course you're sure, it's just that when I scanned you there was no indication that this would be happening so soon. Lie back, let see if you are dilated at all." Troi made herself comfortable as Dr. Crusher ran the tricorder over her once again. A small smile played across her lips. "You are at about two centimeters. Congratulations Dea, you are officially in labor." As if to punctuate her statement another contraction hit causing Deanna to roll onto her side and curl up into a ball.

It was at that moment when Riker stepped into the doorway. A look of panic crossed his features at the sight of Deanna. "What's going on?"

"Her water broke, and that," she nodded towards her friend, "is another contraction."

"She's in labor?" Riker's voice went up an octave. "Shouldn't you be going to sickbay or something?"

Dr. Crusher let out a low chuckle. "Relax Will. She's only at two centimeters; she has about eight more to go before anything more will happen. Depending how quickly she progresses, I think I will keep her here until she's at about six centimeters. It would just be more comfortable for her."

"I hate it when people talk about me like I am not in the room." Deanna was now comfortably sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed.

Beverly gave her a sheepish look. "Sorry Dea. Would you rather we go to sickbay?"

She tilted her head in thought. "You're right, it would be a lot more comfortable here and besides, it's going to be a while right?"

Beverly nodded. "Do you want anything for the pain?"

"I'm doing fine for now, but I will let you know." Her eyes slipped shut and she began the meditation her mother taught her that was to ensure a stress free birth.

The poker game disbanded and Geordi and Data left. Captain Picard remained and kept Riker company in the main room. The two sat drinking coffee and talked about ship's business. Beverly split her time between the rooms, chatting with Deanna between contractions and meditations and constantly running a tricorder over her. She shared a few cups of coffee with the Captain and Commander whenever Deanna was deep in her meditation. Three hours into the scene, after a not-so-subtle hint from Beverly, the Captain returned to his quarters for some much needed rest before duty the next morning.

The whole scene was incredibly surreal for Riker. Some how he expected thing to be a bit more chaotic. Deanna remained incredibly calm due mostly to her meditations, but the comfort of being in quarters surrounded by friends also helped. In between contractions you wouldn't even know that she was in labor. When one hit she would curl up into a ball, breathing deeply and whimpering from the pain. Every once in a while, when a particularly powerful one would hit her by surprise she would cry out in a string of profanities in her native tongue. Beverly was astounded that such a peaceful race would have so many strong, colorful words.

Riker on the other hand was a basket case. He didn't know what his role was supposed to be in all of this so after Picard had left he spent most of his time pacing restlessly. He would poke his head into the bedroom occasionally to see how Deanna was doing, but he didn't dare get too close. After about six hours he fell into a fitful sleep on the couch.

Deanna had been in labor for ten hours before Beverly declared that it was time to head down to sickbay. Once they had arrived, the Counselor became almost as restless as Riker. She wouldn't sit on the biobed, instead she walked the small space of the private room stopping only when a contraction hit.

Much to Deanna's continuing frustration Riker still kept his distance. Instead of joining her in the small room, he remained in the main area of sickbay, hovering just outside the door. She desperately wanted him to be a bigger part in this whole event, but she feared that it would be too much to ask of him. His anxiety and concern over the situation was readily apparent and she didn't want to push him into anything he couldn't handle.

After two more arduous hours Deanna was fully dilated and sitting in the birthing chair. Exhausted from the twelve-hour ordeal and the lack of sleep, Troi had trouble finding the energy to bear down.

**Imzadi** she called out with her mind, desperate to find that connection.

At the sound of her voice in his head, Riker finally found the courage to step through the door and join the scene in the private room. Remaining by the door, he observed from a distance. Controlled chaos played out before him. Various medical technicians hurried around the room preparing the swaddling and warmer for the newborn. Deanna was in the birthing chair, her eyes were closed and her breathing labored and shallow, a sheen of sweat covered her face.

"OK Dea, you are doing wonderful. I can see the head, so on the next contraction you need to push as hard as you can." Beverly tried to hide her concern over her friend's current state. When the next one hit, with all of the energy that was left within her, Deanna did as she was told. The force of her exertion left her breathless and light headed, she began to fade into unconsciousness. "Damn it Deanna, you need to stay with me!"

Riker closed his eyes and breathed deep. Concentrating solely on the beautiful Betazed, he opened up his mind. He could still feel their connection, it was still there, only narrowed. Opening his eyes once again he locked gazes with Deanna who had been startled back into consciousness by Will's actions. He knew instantly when the next contraction hit and when it did, he sent Deanna all of the strength and encouragement he could through their bond.

"Great Dea, you are doing great. The head is out and during the next contraction I just need one more push."

It didn't take long for the next contraction to come and accepting more support from Will, Deanna pushed one last time and was rewarded when the loud cry of a newborn filled the air. Tears filled her eyes as Dr. Crusher placed the squirming, fussing newborn on top of Deanna. The new mother tenderly ran her fingers over the tiny head of dark curls and instinctively counted the fingers and toes. Calming from the gentle touch, the newborn opened her eyes and let out a big yawn. "Me too Little One."

Thirty minutes later mother and baby were resting comfortably on the biobed. The newborn suckled at Deanna's breast as she marveled at the tiny person in her arms. Riker still had yet to move from his spot next to the door. The room had quieted down considerably and the only staff member present was Dr. Crusher herself who was running a tricorder over the pair on the biobed.

"She's absolutely gorgeous Dea and perfectly healthy to boot." Beverly's smile lit up her entire face. "I will hold off on that birth certificate until you've decided on a name. In the mean time, get some rest."

"I will. Thanks Bev."

"No thanks needed, you're the one that did all the work." With that she turned to leave, but right before reaching the door she turned to Riker and gave him a push. Not expecting the action, Riker stumbled forward.

"Hello, Will." Deanna's face held a bemused smile. "It's safe to come out of the corner now." Moving over to the far side of the biobed, she patted the spot next to her. Hesitantly Riker stepped forward and sat down next to her, facing her, but not meeting her eyes.

Troi let the silence hang between them for a moment before she spoke. "Thank you." Her voice was barely above a whisper. Riker opened his mouth to respond only to be silenced by a single finger on his lips. "I know I couldn't have gotten through this without you." She took a deep, shaky breath and let her hand drop. "I've missed you terribly and to have that connection back, even if it were only for a moment, it was when I had needed it the most."

Will reached out and cradled her cheek in his large hand, gently wiping the tears away with his thumb. Leaning forward he placed a tender kiss on each of her eyelids before placing a feather light kiss on her lips. Pulling back just enough to meet her eyes he said in a low voice, "I should go. You need to get some rest." Deanna nodded mutely and he rose from the biobed, tugging on his tunic. He drank in the site before him before he turned to leave.

Moments after he had gone, an image of her and the baby floated into her mind and his voice rang loud and clear. **Thank you**

The baby was now just over five weeks old and she still did not have a name. Deanna of course had taken to calling her Little One, but she would also call her Hirlara, the Betezoid word for 'baby girl.' She was a very good-natured baby, but like all newborns she was very aware of the moods of those around her, especially Deanna. Whenever the Counselor was stressed or agitated, the baby would pick up on that and begin to fuss, successfully escalating the tension. This was one of those nights.

Deanna was scheduled to return back to light duty the next day and she was worried about being separated for the first time. Though the child would only be a few decks away in primary care, this would be the first time the two would be apart for a significant amount of time.

She was at the end of her rope. It was past midnight and she had her first appointment at 0800 hours. Sleep had been but a distant memory for the past two days and she couldn't get the baby to calm down. Her nerves were frayed and the child new it.

Setting her daughter down into her play set, Deanna futilely hoped that the shiny toys would distract her enough to make her forget her mother's distress. When that didn't work she called out, "Computer, location of Dr. Crusher?"
"Dr. Crusher is in Captain Picard's quarters."

Deanna's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "My my, I will need to have a little talk with her tomorrow." Her heart sank. "Damn! She would kill me if I interrupt." She began pacing the room. "Data and Geordi are on shift and Guinan would still be working in Ten Forward. That leaves one person, and I know he's still up."

Turning to her daughter who's cries still has not ceased, "Looks like we get to pay a visit to daddy so that I can get some sleep and keep my sanity." She gently scooped up the fussing child and headed next door.

Will Riker was sitting comfortably on his couch reviewing the last of the day's reports from their survey mission. As soon as he got through the final data PADD from astrophysics he was going to call it a night. He felt his plan being pushed out into the vacuum of space when his door chime sounded.

"This had better be important," he said with a yawn. "Come."

His door obediently slid open to reveal a very frazzled Deanna Troi desperately trying to calm her extremely unhappy baby girl.

Riker opened his mouth to speak, but before he could form any words Deanna entered his quarters and placed the fussing infant on his lap. "Will, please. I am desperate. I just need a couple hours of sleep and I know you don't have bridge duty until 0200 tomorrow. Please." The last word was said with such quiet desperation that when combined with the pleading look in her large, luminous, tear-filled eyes, he could do nothing to resist. Before he could stop himself, he nodded mutely.

"Thank you!" Deanna kissed him quickly, but firmly on the lips. Placing the small bag she had also been carrying on the table, she quickly exited his quarters.

Riker looked down at the squirming bundle in his lap whose ear-piercing screams had died down to frustrated whimpers.

"Hello there, well I guess you don't have a name yet do you?" At the sound of his voice she stopped fussing and stared at him intently. He positioned her so that she was facing him directly, cradling her small head in his large hand. "Well, if you are anything like your mother then I am sure 'Princess' would be appropriate."

The pair continued to stare at each other. "You really do look just like your mom." He gently ran a finger down her tiny, perfect nose and over her O-shaped mouth, an exact miniature of Deanna's. She had definitely inherited her chin from Riker though. Large blue eyes regarded Will with curiosity. Although her eye color was almost identical to her father's, the size and shape reflected her partial Betazoid heritage.

"You are being an angel now Princess. Why were you giving your mom such a hard time?"

He spoke too soon. The big blue eyes shut tightly, and she let out a yell that would have made a Klingon proud.

"Whoa, hey I'm sorry. Whatever I said I take it back." Riker was on his feet. Holding the baby close, he began walking the confined space bouncing the screaming child slightly with each step in the hopes of calming her down. When that didn't work he switched tactics. Repositioning the baby so that he was able to cradle her with one arm, he used his free hand to open up the small bag on the table. Reaching inside, he pulled out the first object he came in contact with, a bottle. "Are you hungry? I hope so because that is something I can easily fix." To Riker's delight she immediately ceased her fussing and greedily took to the bottle. Will breathed a sigh of relief. "OK, maybe I can get the hang of this after all."

Riker sat down on the couch making the two of them comfortable. "I'm not sure if you know this Princess, but I'm your father." She hiccupped in reply. "I know I haven't really been around the past weeks, but that's because things are kind of complicated between your mom and me right now." He let out a heavy sigh.

"Don't tell anybody that I told you this, but I am afraid. I'm scared shitless about how much I love your mother, about doing something stupid and hurting her again, about becoming my father and screwing up your life." He placed a finger in her palm and the tiny fingers immediately wrapped around it. "Funny how such a little thing like you can scare a big guy like me so completely."

"The time is 0700. The time is 0700." Soft beeps accompanied the computer's announcement.

Deanna Troi rolled over and hit the panel next to her bed effectively silencing the offending announcement. She stretched slowly, not yet willing to raise. Something was different, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it.

The baby! She hadn't been woken up by the baby. Leaping out of bed, she threw her robe on. When she reached the empty bassinet it hit her. "Riker! Oh damn, I left her there all night." She dashed out the door.

When there was no answer to her chime she deftly keyed in the access code and the door slid silently open.

Deanna couldn't help but smile at the sight before her. The two were sound asleep on the couch, Riker on his back snoring softly with an arm protectively around the infant on top of his broad chest.

Sitting on the low table in front of them, Deanna leaned over and placed a kiss on her daughter's head. Brushing a stray lock of hair from his forehead, she called out his name softly so as to not startle him. "Will, wake up." He didn't even stir so she tried again a little bit louder. "Wake up Will." Once again there was no response. She decided to try a different approach. He looked so sexy lying there that she couldn't resist. Leaning forward she placed a light, lingering kiss on his lips. She was rewarded with a slight stirring and a low moan. Emboldened by his response, Deanna pressed another, firmer kiss against his lips. Another low moan sounded in his throat and he was soon kissing her back. The couple separated, breathless.

"Good morning." Deanna broke the silence that followed.

"Morning? What time is it?"

"Just after 0700. I'm sorry Will. I didn't mean to sleep through the night." She moved to take the sleeping infant from him, but he stopped her. Sitting up, he repositioned the baby to rest in the crook of his arm. She stretched and opened one eye at the intrusion into her slumber, but then quickly fell back asleep. Deanna marveled at how Riker's large frame seemed to dwarf the infant even more.

"It's all right." He smiled down at the sleeping baby. "We came to an understanding, a small agreement, if you will." Deanna raised a questioning eyebrow causing Will to let out a low chuckle. "She is going to stop driving her mom nuts, and I," he cleared his throat, "I am going to start being a better father."

Deanna couldn't stop the tears brimming in her eyes. "Are you sure? I don't think I could take it if..."

Riker took her hand in his. "Dea, I know that I, that we still have a lot of things to work through, but I do want to work through them."

A sharp cry filled the cabin as the baby made it clear that she was now awake.

"She's hungry." The two said in unison.

Deanna settled onto the couch and when she had the top of her nightgown unbuttoned Will handed her the baby. The screams stopped abruptly when the child began nursing. Pulling Deanna to him, Will propped his feet up on the table and settled back. He ran a hand over the teeny head of dark curls. "She has my ears," he stated quietly. Deanna merely nodded in response.

Another long silence passed. "Dea, what exactly am I supposed to call her? Beautiful would be fitting, but that might get confusing because I know her mother could answer to that too." Riker smiled when he felt her silent chuckle.

"Always the sweat-talker." She gave him a playful elbow in the ribs before growing serious.

"There is an ancient Betazoid myth about a goddess who would watch over loved ones while they were apart and she would ensure a safe reunion." She paused to gather her thoughts. "When you were gone, I had a dream one night. It was the image of our daughter trying to let me know that you would return to me, that she would bring you home. I didn't want to believe in and false hope so I just dismissed it."

Will pulled her closer. "I had a similar dream right before I woke up in sickbay. A little girl led me to you."

Deanna shifted until she was able to look into his eyes. "For some reason the story of this goddess came into my mind a few days ago. I hadn't thought about it in over twenty years." She looked down at her daughter in her arms. "I realized that the story was a lot like my dream so I have decided to name her after that goddess. Eiralond Elizabeth Troi, Daughter of the Fifth House of Betazed."

"Eiralond Elizabeth?" Riker raised a questioning eyebrow and Deanna nodded.

"Elizabeth in honor of her human side and her paternal grandmother."

"Eiralond Elizabeth Troi." He tested it out. "That's a very regal name. If she turns out to be anything like her mother, it will suit her well." Riker let out a yelp as Deanna's elbow found his ribs once again.